Following my own advice
Every now and then I take my own advice. This is a follow up to two of my recent blogs. A week or so ago I wrote about choosing a new physician and preparing for a successful doctor’s visit. I did both this week.
For close to seven years I have been without a primary physician. I had a couple of specialists that I regularly saw to treat on-going health issues. I don’t get sick. But not being a spring chicken (more like an old hen) I have begun to notice new things are starting to creak and groan when I get up in the morning. I have a shoulder that is uncomfortable to sleep on that doesn’t have the range of motion it used to have. I have a finger that doesn’t bend without pain on my right hand. Not big issues but some things that are going to need some attention before they get much worse. So off I went in search of a physician covered by my insurance company.
I found one. Her office was nearby. She was a provider in my insurance network. I called and made an appointment after asking all the pertinent questions about initial consult visit, are certain visits held open each day to work in patients who suddenly get sick, etc. all the questions I mentioned in my blog, when seeking a new doctor. The staff seemed to be user friendly so I made an appointment – an appointment that I had to wait 6 weeks for since I was a new patient……..
This week was the week. I prepared just as I had instructed my readers to do. I made a list of all my medications. I had a list of specialists I see, their phone numbers, addresses and why I was seeing them. On another sheet I had family history as well as an abbreviated personal health history along with the dates of my last colonoscopy, mammogram and pelvic exam – and a copy of my latest lab work done 2 weeks ago. I had a list of previous surgeries. I had a a list of all my questions and concerns. Everything a doctor could want or need – all typed and in a manilla folder.
I arrived on time. I waited a reasonable amount of time before I was called in. A pleasant nurse took my blood pressure and asked questions about meds, etc. that doctor’s used to ask but are too busy for in today’s world I guess. The moment had arrived. The doctor was IN. Poor eye contact and no interest in any of the information I had collected for her. She asked if I was currently experiencing any problems. She appeared very disappointed when I answered yes. I told her about my finger and shoulder issue. She didn’t examine either – just wrote on her computer screen that I needed a referral. She looked in both ears, had me stick out my tongue, tapped both knees with a little hammer (all while having as little physical contact with me as possible.) and told me I needed a pneumonia shot since I’d never had one. I said I had never had a pneumonia shot and really preferred not to have one since I had been advised by a previous physician NOT to have one. I soon found out I was not getting out of the office without one. End of discussion. Ok – so no big deal. Probably not a bad idea even though I hate needles.
Ms. Personality she was not. She would not even have been a runner up for Ms. Congeniality or Compassion or anything remotely close to warm and fuzzy. We spent an entire 15 minutes “getting to know” one another. Then she was off to someone more in need of her services.
Her staff was lovely. The technician who drew my blood and gave me my pneumonia shot was very skilled – I didn’t feel either stick and have no bruises today. They were friendly, competent and actually talked and laughed with me.
However – I won’t be back. My search for a primary physician continues. I’m not a doctor and don’t pretend to have anywhere near their education or knowledge. However, I know my body and after 30+ years as a nurse caring for patients, I know a little about medicine and a LOT about connecting with one’s patients. She may BE a good doctor. I will never find out. She flunked Communication 101 and to me that is the first step in building a doctor – patient relationship. You don’t have to love me, you don’t have to come to my house for supper but you do have to act like you have a modicum of interest in my health, well-being and me as an individual.
I wouldn’t go back to a butcher who gave me an inferior cut of meat so I certainly won’t go back to a doctor, a much more important investment, who gives me inferior care.
This I”m reporting to you in hopes of encouraging anyone who has an experience that is NOT what they expected or wanted to keep moving. Do not settle. The help you are looking for is out there. You just haven’t found it yet.
I think I told you last week my daughter’s hair is falling out along with a couple other problems that are not being resolved. She has visited three different doctors, her GYN doc, her primary physician and a dermatologist. All scratched their heads and said they didn’t know what was causing the problems and there was nothing else they could do. Most women do not want to be bald at 35. My daughter was no exception. She is still in her prime child bearing years and this problem could be hormonal but no one thought it necessary to check. Last week we managed to find a specialist a Cleveland Clinic who could see her this week.
WOW ! What a dynamite doctor. This woman listened, asked questions, listened some more, did a thorough physical, laid out a plan, ordered tests that should have been done years ago and made my daughter feel like she mattered, was important and that she was not going to have to live with the rest of her hair falling out much longer. THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. Don’t stop until you have found a doctor who makes you feel like you matter and that your health is a genuine concern to them. They exist. You will know, like my daughter did, when you’ve found the right one.
So my search goes on. I’ll be just as prepared with my file folder of information for the next visit and if that intimidates the doctor I’ll keep moving. Do your homework and don’t stop looking until you are satisfied. You’re worth it.
Think about it.