To Do Nothing
A week or so ago I was somewhere waiting for someone. I can’t remember all the details but I do remember it wasn’t a planned period of inactivity. Suddenly I realized I had NOTHING TO DO – no reading material, no i-Pad, i-Pod, i-phone, no book, no newspaper, NOTHING. I searched my purse. I scanned the area where I was waiting – I think it was the car – NOTHING. I started to feel panicked. One does NOT just sit.
I put my hands in my lap. I tried sitting quietly. That didn’t work so well. Usually I had SOMETHING in my purse to occupy me, a book, my phone, something. How had I let this happen? My mind was not quiet but not thinking anything constructive either – just stupid thoughts flitting in and out – not even very interesting thoughts either. I remember thinking to myself that it shouldn’t be that difficult. Wasn’t there a time when I enjoyed just sitting, watching people, listening to the sounds around me. Where had that ability gone?
Now I have to admit I was NOT raised in a family who encouraged doing nothing. In fact let Mom find you doing nothing and you’d have a dust rag handed to you or if Dad found you doing nothing there was always something that needed weeding in the garden or sorted in the workshop. I learned at an early age to keep a book in my hand. TV was not considered “doing something”. You were fair game for being drafted if you were found in front of the TV set. I, unfortunately, passed this on to my kids. They learned at a young age to never tell me there were bored or that there was nothing to do. That was blasphemous. I want to say now I really did them a disservice.
Its ok to be bored. What’s not ok is not doing something with the boredom. It could/should be a jumping off point for imagination to take over, to search your own well of creativity, to stop and just enjoy being, to enjoy the quiet of your own thoughts.
Fortunately, at least one of my kids didn’t take me seriously. My son is able to sit quietly. He is a thinker. He is a writer so while he may look like he is doing nothing in reality he has ideas fermenting inside his head (That being said he is still seldom far from reading or writing material.) My daughter, on the other hand, needs to be in the midst of activity, have people around, be doing something all the time, except when she is sleeping and even then she is a very active dreamer.
I’m getting to the point – just bear with me.
I’m rereading a book. You will see listed on my Reading List page. It’s called The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. I bought it several years ago, read part of it and put it down because I didn’t have time to initiate any of the practices it was advocating. Or at least I didn’t think I had time. Especially since the first item on the Menu was “Nothing”.
This is NOT a diet book. At least it’s not one that has to do with food intake or losing weight. It is however, about nourishment – nourishment of the soul. With the winter we have had we can all use some soul food. I sought out the first chapter after the experience I had while waiting with “nothing to do”. I want to be able to do this. To downshift into a much lower gear, into neutral, find peace in my surroundings, in just being. The older I get, the more important this is becoming. I don’t want to sound like one of those old ladies who can only talk about how things used to be. NO – but I do want to be able to revel in all the things I have done, to carry those memories with me- at least the good ones – to be able to take them out and look at them when the day isn’t going so well or I am envious of someone else who seems to be having a more exciting life. I want to be able to think about those experiences and incorporate what I’ve learned into what is happening in my life today.
I love the Chinese philosopher’s saying of
“we shape clay into a pot
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want.”
If we let the bowl (our mind) be cluttered with all kinds of junk and worries there is no room for what is trying to come to the surface or grow there. We need to be able to seek out that space of “nothing” to get centered. I am not good at meditating. The whole “om” thing distracts me. Those of you who meditate will most likely tell me that you don’t have to say “om” you just have to empty your mind. The more I concentrate on trying to empty my mind the more distracted I become.
I’m interested in how Ms. Beck is going to help me incorporate “a good strong dose of nothing” “breaking the barrier to access the point of perfect stillness at the center of my being”. into my daily life. Actually, “interested” sounds standoffish – as if I challenge her on being able to accomplish this – that I’m going to resist breaking that barrier just to prove her wrong. A better description would be “excited”. I AM excited because I need this, probably more now than ever before. There is a lot going on in my life, choices and changes that need to be made. To be able to do nothing and let the answers come to me from somewhere deep inside sounds perfect.
I a definitely in the market for getting to, what she calls “the absolute peace of your deep self that will allow you to approach all your problems.”
Do you share this desire to learn to do “nothing”, to discover that core of yourself that you have been too busy and too noisy to notice. You may be looking for a new sense of peace. You may be experiencing choices and changes as well, seeking answers you can’t seem to find. Or maybe you just need to down shift – learn to do nothing and be at peace.
Continue with me on this journey. I’ll be reporting back on my trip to learning the experience of “nothing.”
Think about it.