Keeping Score
What is a hand knitted scarf worth ? Breakfast out, Tickets to the Home and Garden Show and dinner out on the same day? Oh, wait – that was make up for no card on Valentine’s Day. Have I lost you yet? Confused?
I’ll back up a bit. Tom forgot to buy a card for Valentine’s Day. It appears to have bothered him a lot more than it did me. If you remember I got a heart shaped crab cake which is way, way better than a card. Anyway, today, I finished a scarf I’d been knitting since last summer for Tom (I know, a little late, but it IS still snowing here.). I gave it too him. He then said that he should be giving me something since I gave him the scarf. Then he said “but wait – I took you to breakfast AND dinner AND the Home and Garden Show yesterday so that should count.” Then after a moment he said “but wait – that was to make up for not giving you a Valentine card….” AND hence the idea behind the blog.
How much time do we waste “keeping score”,making sure we are all paid up or that someone has paid us what we are due? Not only a time waster but a morale buster as well. What happens when we realize we got the short end of the stick ? Or even worse someone has out-niced us and we haven’t figured out a way to pay them back – in other words we are “obligated”.
Let’s commit to making it simpler. Just say Thank You. And You Are Welcome. When you do something for someone or give them something, whether it is time, attention or a hand knitted scar,f if you are doing it for the right reason a “thank you” should be all you need in return. If you need more than that examine your reason behind what you are doing.
I realized the other night that we hadn’t heard from a couple we know since they were at our house for dinner months ago. In fact we haven’t seen them all winter. My first thought was THEY hadn’t called US, which, everyone knows since they were our guests last its their turn to make the call……..Is this silly or what? This is another example of keeping score. My first thought should have been “I wonder if they are ok? I should call.” And then make the call! Instead I worried we had made them mad. Maybe they didn’t really want to be friends (these are fairly new acquaintances). Maybe they didn’t have a good time. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Why not just call to make sure they were getting through this long snowy winter ok instead of personalizing it and once again raining on my self-esteem.
Time wasters. We don’t always have to pay back or be paid back. Delight in the gift or the giving. Say thank you and let it go. What are you keeping score on today?
Think about it.